I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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