i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
