I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
