Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
