Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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