nut hugger
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
