Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
