I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
