That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
