It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
