He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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