the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
im on a boat
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