The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
