dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Randomize
