well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
