Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize