dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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