lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
