its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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