I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
