He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
