Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
