i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
i want to swaddle you in tequila
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
They have beer where we have blood.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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