you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
