i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
