Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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