I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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