Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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