It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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