He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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