my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
