I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
