Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
