you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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