We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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