I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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