I wish I could punch you in the face.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
