I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
