Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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