All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
