I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
