i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
