ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
