Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
