Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
