his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
honey bunches of taint.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
