Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Watching her eat just hurts me
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
