I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
im six kinds of drunk right now
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
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