brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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