There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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