Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
