I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
