ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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