Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
