Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
