there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
