If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize