I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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