you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I'm passing your future prison.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Randomize
